Though I know this new baby girl will bring so much joy into our family and I am beyond excited to meet her, it's hard not to feel a little sad sometimes as this chapter of our lives comes to a close. My heart is already so full of love for Ila it's hard to imagine having room for one more. Will Ila not feel as loved by me? How will she respond when I can't always pick her up or hold her the way I had? Will she understand? These are the questions I already know the answers to, but still ask myself and get a little sad. Especially at Sweet Frog the other night as I was relishing our family time and then a sappy acoustic version of "Freshmen" started playing. I'll blame pregnancy hormones on that one, but it just about put me over the edge into some real public sobbing. Thanks a lot Verve Pipe.
I know the initial weeks and months will be an adjustment for all of us, but what I need to remind myself now is that children are a gift, God designed Susannah to be Ila's sister, and that it will be so so so GOOD. I also know that the instant she is born it will all make sense, but for now I can't help but stare at Ila all day and tell her how loved she is. I am already so proud of her for the way she has handled the anticipation of her baby sister's birth too. She will tell random people that she is going to help change diapers and do the dishes after her baby sister is born. If she finds something small on the ground, she will say "Susannah can't have this because it's too little and she might choke." Though i expect frequent meltdowns and tantrums when she fully realizes how much she is going to have to share, I am still so proud of Ila for what her three-year-old mind can already understand.
So if this was our last day, or if tomorrow is, or the day after that (hopefully not 2 weeks from now), I know that it will be the end of something good but the beginning of something even better. We will have the privilege of welcoming a precious new life into the world that we get to have in our family.
(But for now, pardon me if crappy 90's rock music makes me burst into tears in the local Sweet Frog).
Can't wait to meet you Susannah Byrd!
I know the initial weeks and months will be an adjustment for all of us, but what I need to remind myself now is that children are a gift, God designed Susannah to be Ila's sister, and that it will be so so so GOOD. I also know that the instant she is born it will all make sense, but for now I can't help but stare at Ila all day and tell her how loved she is. I am already so proud of her for the way she has handled the anticipation of her baby sister's birth too. She will tell random people that she is going to help change diapers and do the dishes after her baby sister is born. If she finds something small on the ground, she will say "Susannah can't have this because it's too little and she might choke." Though i expect frequent meltdowns and tantrums when she fully realizes how much she is going to have to share, I am still so proud of Ila for what her three-year-old mind can already understand.
So if this was our last day, or if tomorrow is, or the day after that (hopefully not 2 weeks from now), I know that it will be the end of something good but the beginning of something even better. We will have the privilege of welcoming a precious new life into the world that we get to have in our family.
(But for now, pardon me if crappy 90's rock music makes me burst into tears in the local Sweet Frog).
Can't wait to meet you Susannah Byrd!
Hannah,
ReplyDeleteThis is sweet and I remember feeling the same way when we were waiting for Julia. It all just makes since when you see your sweet new baby girl. Morgan will tell you she remembers coming to the hospital with Bob and bringing a birthday cake and balloons she got to pick for her new baby sister. She can still tell you what it looked like and where they bought it. We are very special to have TWO girls. There is nothing like it and know one can understand it unless they have them also. You have been so blessed as I have that God thought so much of us to give us such wonderful gifts. Ilia is the same age Morgan was when we got the wonderful gift of Julia. She is such a special, loved, smart little girl with two wonderful loving parents. Just don't worry about anything it just all comes together and makes sense just enjoy every day with just you and Ilia untill the BIG day. We love you all and are so very excited to meet the new little Byrd. All our love, Jena
Now I'm crying too, and I'm not even pregnant. Love you.
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